Where have I been?

It's officially been over a week since my last post. There's been a lot on my mind lately and I must admit, it wasn't mostly about God. I opened my Bible yesterday at church for the first time I think in the past week and it was kind of a rush. How about I fill you in on last week....

So I found out Sunday that I would moving to Baton Rouge, to which most people would be excited to hear because they want me home. It's fine :) I started looking through the packet of information that was sent with everything from my itinerary to the campus map. I'm really excited about being in Baton Rouge and experiencing this huge new place with loads and loads of new people and new adventures. It was hard telling people at first, because of the unwanted sympathy, but I'm ok :) More than ok, I'm excited!

This past week I've also worked in lab everyday which was good. I do love spending time in there, it just gets rough when I have a million things for school that I need to get done so it's hard during the semester. I'd say we got a lot accomplished, but luckily I'll still have plenty to do when I get back as well!

Monday was the Gossip Girls season finale...it's entirely ridiculous that I love that show, but I've seen every episode nonetheless. I can't wait for next season!

Tuesday I saw Glee and followed that with watching Singing in the Rain. It's my new favorite musical! It combines everything I love about movies, especially classic movies and puts it to song! Love :)

Wednesday Megs came into town. We had lunch at Kosmos (fave) with Jennifer, Kayla, and Kaylyn. It was fantastic! It was soooo good to see them and catch up at least once before we leave or get too busy.

Thursday was a busy day in lab. Our samples weren't running through the machine correctly and it took about 2 hours just to clean the preparative machine so that the samples wouldn't even run properly. That was followed by a fabulous Farmington High reunion at graduation! I love Katie Ball so much! I'm so glad I got to see her graduate and that she'll be at the U of A in the fall!

Friday I went into lab for just a little while because the other machine was being worked on as well...but that's fine! I ended up spending the afternoon in Mr. Mason's classroom catching up. I feel very blessed to have him as a mentor not just in school but someone that cares for me on a spiritual level as well. I love being able to go back and talk to him and be encouraged by him and his life. It gives me a new perspective. I then drove to Muskogee to watch my other Katie graduate! And by my, I do mean Megan's little sister. I love that family and I'm so glad they shared that experience with me :)

Saturday I drove back and baby sat for the sweetest 3 kids in the world. You know how I love children :) They were so innocent and sweet and pleased by the smallest things. I loved it!

Sunday I woke up and went to class at church. I was nervous but I prayed before I went in that God show me what I needed to see or open my ears to what I needed to hear. The sermon was about grace, which I don't feel adequately well read on, so I'll tell you more about it when I find a good starting point. What meant the most was the kindness a few girls showed me. You know I don't really feel comfortable at church? I'm kind of a baby when it comes to doing it alone. These girls were so nice and talked to me and were interested in me. They invited me to sit with them for the service and they even took my number to invite me to other things they'd be doing. I'm excited about my new friends :) On top of that, I found my favorite couple, who have known me since I moved here but I haven't seen them in a few years. I felt like the prodigal son. They weren't angry that I had stopped going to church or strayed from what I believed in, but overjoyed to see me. It makes my heart happy! I spent the afternoon at Lake Fayetteville biking, climbing, manuvering, and adventuring the area with Brandon and Ben, which was followed by Bible study to which I was joined by my dear friend Addison. An experience I can blog about another day.

I guess recapping my week reinforces the point I wanted to make. Did you see anything in my week that would be considered bad? Unchristian? Me neither. But did you read a single time when I opened my Bible to spend quality time with God? Me neither.

I didn't even realize it until yesterday morning at church. I may not have been doing bad things or making bad decisions, but I don't think I was really choosing the right ones either. I wasn't being proactive about my relationship with God. I don't think I lost Him by any means, I just think I got caught up in life being so good right now, that I didn't think I needed Him. Subconsciously of course, becase if you had asked me at anytime, I know I would properly answer that of course I need God.

Why might you need to hear this? I know that I'm very OCD about several things, but I never really saw it as a problem. Among the conversations I was having with Mr. Mason, one was about my blog and my OCD. How I read and re-read each post before I publish it online. How when I go back and read some that I've had typo's on, I just want to delete the whole thing and retype my mistakes. He challenged me to type an entire post and not re-read it or fix or change anything, to just post it. He said that God would take care of getting my point across, without my help. The throught made me cringe a little. Not because I don't fully believe God is capable, but because it's a pet peeve of mine to see misspellings, especially when I've done them. He reminded me that I don't know who reads this. I put it on facebook for anyone and everyone to stop by and absorb. If someone reads it, and only sees perfection, they may not get what I was trying to say. They might get intimidated and not read anymore. I know that's silly, but I also live with myself, and I know that I'm not perfect. Far from it. But if someone reads that doesn't know me, they might be turned off by the whole idea of what I'm doing.

So here's my attempt to kill 2 birds with just 1 stone. Not that I'd ever purposely kill a bird....but bird 1: I'm not perfect. That's why I wanted to tell you that as often as I've blogged in the past, and as strong as my faith as been recently, it took me a week to realize that I hadn't really spent any time with God. I know this isn't new, but we're all prodigal sons. God isn't mad that we left, but joyous when come back. I'm sorry if I've intimidated you at any point and I'm sorry if I've left you with the impression that I'm perfect. It's true, I like order to things and using the correct spelling, but if it stops me from doing what God wants, or worse if it stops you from reading what you need to, then disorder is fine with me too.

Bird 2: I love summer. I've been very stress free since it began. It's great! The problem I've had, that I only realized yesterday, is that it was easier to depend on God when I was stressed. When my life isn't going the way I want and when I need Him. If God were a boy I was dating, I don't think He'd appreciate it very much that I only called when I needed something. Whether it be a favor, someone to trust in, or someone to listen to me. He's not just someone to dance in the rain with, but someone I should be having picnics with in the sunshine too. Through the good times and the bad, I know that God will be with me, but I know that I have to earnestly want Him there. Everyday. Rain or shine. Good or bad.

The month ahead of me I'm sure will be filled with struggles that I will most certainly depend on God to get me through. My prayer for the next few weeks will be that I learn to keep God by my side all the time and not just when I need someone to carry me through. Afterall, if this relationship is going to work, it can't be just drama all the time, we have to have fun together too.

I hope that you read this and can see that I struggle, even when I don't realize it. I don't want you to think that I live a perfect life everday or that I am able to keep God #1 everyday, because I can't. I falter. I can't recount every moment or thought I had last week, but I'm sure Satan didn't have to work very hard to win me over when everything is good and the sun is shinning.

I'm so thankful for my friend Addison and the conversation we had last night. I thank God for bringing him into my life and for letting me be part of this time with him. For Bible study, and reminding me of where I came from and where I'm going.

Mason: challenge taken and conquered. I won't re-read this, fix or change anything.

I love you for reading this. I love you if you don't read this, you just don't know it, lol.