Hello world! What a beautiful Monday! Despite the fact I'm sure we're all trying to hang onto the weekend...
Me? I was in Dallas this weekend for Kelly and Paul's wedding (Kelly is my sister's BFF)! In general, I love Dallas. I love the fast pace and the crazy drivers and getting lost and downtown and all the different highways...ahhh, I'm crazy about it all :) The wedding? Beautiful! It rained (on the ceremony), but there's a special kind of beauty in that. Not to mention the bride! And the flowers! It was wonderful, I love weddings!
Appropriately, I thought I'd address this love issue. Now, before I spill my guts, know that I have very limited experience in the area, and really, I have no idea what I'm talking about. All I know, is what I feel and what I read, and I'll share that with you. Even though I'm sure I stand alone in my opinions and interpretations and it's very wrong to think the way I do.
As you may already know, I'm slightly mushy. Or very mushy. I love love! I love romantic movies and cheesy lines...it's ridiculous. I'm ridiculous. Since I've been in college, I've been looking at it slightly different though. In high school, it was easy for me to believe in fairy tale endings and to romanticize life, but in college life comes at you a little different, you're almost required to be a little more practical. What I've realized (and again, this is my own opinion) is that there is a difference between loving someone and really being in love with someone. The Bible says we should love everyone, "...love your neighbor as yourself..." Leviticus 19:18, so why would that be a big deal? No, I think that it's when you're in love with someone that's the big deal. Because of this, I think that there can be 'love at first sight,' but it's not really what you want it to mean. The 'first sight' business is just a physical attraction between 2 people. In order to truly be in love, I think you have to know the ins and outs of someone. Know all of someones secrets and choose to not only still love them, but forget about all those secrets. It's when we stop looking at characteristics as flaws, but as reasons why we're in love them. When we can stop thinking about ourselves and be servants to those people, willingly, without notice, and without expecting reparations. You can't get any of that from just looking at someone!
I absolutely believe the God made someone for everyone, just like God made Eve for Adam. I think that the easiest way to be with those people, is to choose the life He wants for us. Free will lets us be with whomever we choose, but when we fully give our lives over to God, we're with whomever He chooses, and nothing can be more perfect than that "because God is love," 1 John 4:7.
What else does the Bible says about this love business? Well, the most well known verse comes from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 saying that "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."I have always loved this verse. I think it's perfect in every way. It's so encouraging and it's like a checklist! And I do love making lists and crossing things off. And I think this verse is talking about being in love. All those situations and times when we want to get mad or jealous, and we call relationships love, but they're not. Not if they don't really follow this. I know that's very picky, but I think that's why love is so hard to find. Unfortunately, people end up settling because that's the obvious and easier choice than to be alone and wait, but also the reason why divorce rates are so high!
Not that I can blame people, it's a scary thought, one that I struggle with a great deal. But what it comes down to is trust. I know that I have serious problems really trusting people. Why? Because giving all of myself to someone else takes away all of my control. You can tell them all your secrets, but what if they don't stand by you? What about when you learn to trust them, and they break that trust? What do you do when you love someone, and they wake up one day and change their minds? Or what about when you think there will never be anyone else for you, and you're the one who changes your mind? It's all very scary. The worst part is there's no one to blame. We can't really be mad at someone because they had a change of heart or because what was once good for them isn't anymore. And no matter what end of the situation you're on, I don't think anyone escapes without being a little heartbroken. Or very heartbroken. At that point, how do you learn to trust someone like that again? Like I said, I think that when we've hit rock bottom with love, and we're almost forced to turn to God, that's when we can become so consumed in a relationship so much better. The kind of relationship that everyone wants to be in. Not ones that are based on sex, or anything physical, but just pure love. When you enjoy their company, and the thought of them makes you smile. God's love, agape love. That's what I want. I want to be facebook official with God. So that instead of turning to superficial attention, I turn to Him. That I look forward to prayer like a phone call from someone I love and that I am so in love with Him that I can't wait to tell everyone about it. That I carry this 66 book love letter all the time so that I can constantly remind myself how much I'm loved by Him.
But I know that God made earthly love too. How? Because the first few verses 1 Corinthians 13 very clearly states that you can have everything and still be nothing without love. "If I speak in the tounges of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." Nothing?! Speaking in the tounges of men and angels and we get nothing. Giving up all earthly possesions for the poor and we'll get nothing. Well, this verse isn't really talking about earthly love, it's talking about being in love with God. Not being anyting without having that relationship with Him. His love is self sufficient, and as far as I know, God doesn't love you any less if you never find that special person. But God is love, and He made these feelings to be shared and expressed in beautiful ways that can be glorifying to Him. While His love is more than enough for everyone, He recognizes our earthly desires and satisfy's those desires. It's not something we need, but something He wants for us.
So where do I stand? Well I know that God loves me, and wants what's best for me (and everyone). But that doesn't directly take away the heartache when we get dumped and it doesn't make it any easier to jump right back into the sea and look for those other fish. Knowing that someone like me would still be scared to trust it, He addressed the issue. "That there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love," 1 John 4:18.
I guess what I'm saying is that I should first and foremost be seeking a relationship with Him. God is the only perfect being in existence, therefore the only way to get this perfect love that will drive away fear, is through Him. That when I'm ready, God will put someone in my life or show me someone who is already in my life and I won't be scared. It'll happen naturally and beautifully and it will happen according to His plan for us. As long as we continue to put Him first in our lives and relationship.
Agape love (noun)- selfless love of one person for another without sexual implications (especially love that is spiritual in nature).
Thanks for taking the time to read my rambles about things I really have no business rambling about. I hope that the rest of your week is absolutely fabulous! I love you :))
Now back to Monday!
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