Whoa Baby Jesus!

I should be writing a personal statement. Not blogging. Not watching Toy Story 2, yet here I am, doing both :))

Wondering about my title? You may think it's ridiculous, but so do I. I'm just so overwhelmed with God sometimes that I have to stop and say wow...and tell you of course! Like, "whoa, God, you are so cool!" And baby Jesus is fun to say :)

From the beginning? Ok...

Remember when all I wanted was to move to South Carolina? I would have done anything I possibly could to be able to move there. Anything. And to find out I wasn't accepted was devastating. I knew God just had something different in store for me, but it was still hard. It may never be easy to find out that God and I have different plans, but it will always be interesting.

How do I know? Because it seems to be happening to me all the time. Who knows how long this has been going on for, but I've only started noticing after I started looking.

Last week, I mentioned that God blessed my by coming to Baton Rouge, but everyday I find that more and more true. Last week, it was finding out that Dr. Henry was from Arkansas and that I was going to be and to continue working with amyloid-beta. This week, it was not only learning all about graduate school, but when I was able to have a long conversation with Dr. Henry about Glee, Broadway, and American Idol. Not only that, but I was talking to him about some graduate school I am looking into and as it turns out, he has a few contacts for me :)) And today, the most magical of all!

I talk about my friend Shirnelle here, but of all the girls here, we're the most alike. We just went to dinner and had a 3 hour conversation about everything, basically. We talked about race issues, graduate school, and this program that we're in. As it turns out, she wasn't particularly excited about Baton Rouge either. She wasn't looking at South Carolina, but North Carolina. She didn't think she was going to be able to identify with anyone or make any friends, and neither did I. And after we talked about all of this, we talked about God.

I told her all about how hard I prayed about this summer, and how it was only when I didn't get what I want that I was reassured of God's plan for me. I told her all about all the crazy things that happen every day that remind me that God listens to my prayers and how happy it makes me and she had similar stories to share with me! We talked about how awesome it is thatwe know that God really won't ever forsake us and we talked about times when he's shown that to us. We talked about different stories in the Bible and verses that we really liked.

All I could think about was Proverbs 27:17. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Remember the flowers? It's about being with those good flowers in that good soil in order for you to be able to reach full potential. Shirnelle? She's a beautiful flower and super healthy soil. I've known her for 2 weeks and we didn't talk about this stuff until today and I wonder if she could see what kind of flower I was? Could she tell what kind of soil I'm in? I guess it's completely different when I look at myself and when I think about what others can see. I guess where I want to be isn't quite where I'm at yet, and that's ok, I have a whole life of growing and learning and harvesting to do and I'm excited.

You know how I always have a plan? I used to have a really ellaborate plan. I wanted certain things by certain ages, not before and not after. I always knew I'd go to medical school and then all of a sudden, I realized that wasn't what I wanted anymore. All of a sudden I have absolutely no idea what I want to do. When. Where. Nothing. I still have no idea, but I'm excited! I didn't know what what I was going to do this summer, and God took care of it. It was a surprise, and I didn't know where He was going with it, but I'm still excited. And I'm really excited about not having a plan because as it turns out, God still does. And when I let go of my plans, it's a lot easier to be happy with His. Because He always wins. Always.

The point? Well first of all, I won't be able to just let go of all the plans at once, but when I see these other flowers blossoming and growing and being strong, it's encouraging to let go of what I'm holding on to so that I can be as beautiful and blossomed as the other flowers. Secondly, it's always nice to be reassured that I'm still exactly where I need to be. And third, I don't want it to take 2 weeks for someone to know how much I love God. Yes, it is a lot easier to blossom in a garden full of flowers but I want to be ready if God ever uproots me to start a new garden. I want to be a strong, beautiful flower and one day people will be able to look at me for inspiration and guidance. It's easy to talk about God when someone else brings it up, but I want to be able to be that person that brings Him up. To talk about Him, even when I stand alone. I hope I get this chance soon. I hope that I'm never embarrassed or shy to talk about God because I'm afraid of what they may think, or the friendships I may lose.

Be adventurous. Talk about God.

I love you! Je t'aime. I'm so excited about the future. And I'm so excited to have you with me every step of the way, but most importantly, I'm so excited that God will be there every step of way. Good night :) Bonne nuit!

And no, I didn't re-read this.