Monday, June 7, 2010

Church Gumbo

Well hello there! First, I would like to say thank you :)) Why? Because I took a practice GRE test on Friday, and although writing has never been my stronger subject, it was very strong Friday and I think that it's due to the fact that I've been writing a lot more recently! Well, I don't blog every single day, but the fact that I do has helped writing quality. I think. I'm not doing a study on it or anything so don't cite this in any papers :)

Second, I'd like to let everyone know that my Twilight baby cells have doubled and are very healthy. I know all of you were concerned as to how their growth was coming along, and I just want to let you know that they are, in fact, coming along fabulously!

Third, I rode my bike today, and it didn't rain on me! Whoop whooooop!

Fourth, yesterday on my run I started to feel sick and the heat/humidity just made it worse...I was too far to just go back so I adventured on and I found the most BEAUTIFUL coral colored rose on the trail. I'm convinced that it's from God. It's too pretty and exactly my favorite color to not be. I felt much better after :)

Fifth, the lakes are also lined with houses. Not just houses though, probably the most beautiful houses in the world. They're just fantastic. I will be a creep and take pictures and put them on Facebook, so be on the look out!

Sixth, and the main point I want to get across today, I went to church yesterday! But I was so mad when I left that I couldn't write about it because I would have given it very bad reviews instead of taking a look at the whole experience. Which can be summed up in just one word: interesting.

*Disclaimer* I would just like to apologize in advance for anything offensive, denominationally degrading, or racially degrading I may say. I pinky promise that's not my intention. I just want to be able to really describe the events I witnessed with complete honesty and an objective point of view. If you're offended, I truly am sorry. Please don't be upset with me.

Before ever getting to Baton Rouge, I knew I would be going to church somewhere. I had hoped to find something similar to what I was used to, but I also wanted to experience something I was not used to. I knew that church here would be different regardless, but I'm a fairly objective person.

Saturday night, Shirnelle and I were looking for a church and looked at a visitor's church list given to us in our information booklets. We decided to just look up the first one and go there! Shirnelle goes to a very conservative Baptist church in Georgia, so we were looking for the same things. We never could find out what time it started so we agreed to leave at 9:30 to give us plenty of time to get there. The name of the church was Bethel AME. Do you know what that means? Because I sure didn't. It stands for African Methodist Episcopal. Not a problem! I was excited about visiting a church I had never been to or really knew anything about.

On our way there, we got turned around and couldn't find it, and when we drove around long enough, we ran into it only to find out that they only had service at 8 am. Several churches only have service at that hour because they don't want to let church out when it's too hot. Luckily, one of Shirnelle's roommates had given us directions to another church, which was very easy to find.

We pulled up to what looked to be a very traditional church. Shirnelle and I were both under the impression that it was nondenominational only to get there and find that it was interdenominational. Not that I had any idea what that really entailed until after we left.

I want you to know that I walked in very optimistic. The sweet ladies at the door were very friendly and we found 2 other girls in our program to sit with. The inside was really nice. New chairs, a chandelier, and several floral arrangements. The sermons are all broadcast online if you ever have a free afternoon to watch :)) It's called Interdenominational Faith Assembly

So we walk in, sit down. The choir is in the front and this woman just starts talking. The church was only about half full and people were still walking in, but I guess she was ready to go! So the band started playing shortly there after. Although it was all very loud, I thouroughly enjoyed the enthusiasm and atmosphere! I felt slightly out of place, not only because I didn't feel comfortable jumping or screaming myself, but also because as you may imagine, I was the only non-African American in the room. Neither bothered me. It certainly didn't bother me that they did it, I loved it! I also loved that I could see how earnest people were while they were singing. It was more than just a song to some of them, they were prayers and they were lifting them up to God. Singing with their faces towards the sky as if they were actually conversing with Him; it was very moving!

30 songs later, another man walks up and starts to talk and I'm thinking he's the preacher, but the band keeps playing and the choir is still humming. One second he was singing and the next second he was talking about how he used to have a drug addiction and the next second he was sort of praying. Meanwhile, the band and choir keep going. Then the man says to welcome the 2 best pastor's in the nation and the audience went crazy. It was like a concert. They were like celebrities and they came out to the stand waving with presidential smiles plastered on their faces. I was fine, with everything. Even the 30 songs of praise they had going on, but then the Pastor man starts talking and his wife sits down in a grand chair behind him. He starts talking about the worship that had been going on and how "alive" and "on fire" some people were that morning. He went on to say that there were still some "cold" people in the audience. He argued that we all cheer at football games, basketball games, soccer, baseball ect, so we should be just as enthusiastice at church. I agree. He carried on the subject by naming other sports and the church people were yelling other sports and there were "AMENS" and "HALLELUJIAHS" all thrown in there. Like I said, I completely agreed, until he looked in the direction of where my friend and I were sitting and softened his voice and batted his eyelashes and added about the enthusiasm at a sorority tea party.

Was I just called out at church? Umm, yeah. In case anyone hadn't notice the blinding reflection of my pale complexion in comparrison with the rest of the church goers, it was just broadcast to everyone there :))

As you can imagine, my cheecks flushed and my heart sank. At this point, my attitude about that church changed drastically. While I didn't enjoy the rest of my time there, I will do my best to represent the church exactly how it happened.

So he insults me and then he goes on talking about "cold churches" and about how everyone should be "on fire" and before he forgot (like he had last week apparently) he was going to let the choir sing their 3 MORE SONGS. Mind you, they had just taken an hour singing songs.

So they spend another 20-30 ish minutes singing their songs. Please ask me where the pastor was. Ok, he was sitting in a chair next to his wife. His wife? Well she had her hands up, eyes closed, and was clearly passionate about the songs being sung. Pastor? He was sitting back in his chair with his arms on the arm rests. Not singing. Occassionally he'd write something down and eventually he got up and left. Honestly, I was furious. He had just called me out on something that I'm not even used to being a part of and here he is not doing something that he's preaching against and part of every week? Hypocrite! I was so mad.

He came back at the end of the last song, just in time to preach. He didn't have a Bible or notes in his hand. I learned last night, after talking to Regan who is much more knowledgable on the subject of religions than I am, that they are part of a group that believe they don't have to draft anything, God will just littereally speak through them. That's fine, I believe to "divine intervention," to an extent. I mean, I don't wake up knowing I'm going to blog that day, I just let stuff happen and then I let you know as it does. I do, however, usually have an idea what my point is before I sit down and open this new post. Not him. He just goes out there and wings it every Sunday morning.

He has a designated reader, who stands behind him with a mic and his Bible ready when the pastor is. He decided to go to Revelations. He talked about the word reveal a bit and then he had the reader start reading from Revelations 3, because that's when it gets good. Before the reader got more than 5 words out, the pastor would have something to say. I just want to remind you that at this point it was 11:30, and the service started at 10. He only spoke for about 20 minutes, because he was "trying to get us out of there," but he never really made his point. Probably becasuse there wasn't a point to be made because he didn't have one planned out, but he honestly didn't talk about anything in particular. He had a reading from Revelations, and then I remember a small blurb about STDs. He was all over the place! The members of the church? Still shouting their Amens and Hallelujiah's whenever they felt like it was necessary.

He starts coming to a close and I start thinking about what an interesting experience this had been. I wanted to visit a church completely different than anything I had ever been to, and it certainly was. I was still angry, but it was eased knowing the event was coming to a close.

He starts taking prayer requests and says that it's really important for the sick to be healed and then he just started talking about how God couldn't let him let the sick people leave just yet. The band started playing and the choir started singing and the sick people walked to the front. There was a line of about 4 older women and after they were in line, shoulder to shoulder, a line of black men stood behind them and a line of women stood in front of them, some holding blankets. Some other people came by and started taking the glasses off of their faces. The pastor got to the first woman and is talking to her, but facing the people of the church, he tells her to put her hands in the air and two of the men come up behind her and each grab a wrist and put their other arm around her waist as the pastor grabs her face, starts yelling some words and then throws her head back. This happened four times consequtively. Each woman having the same reaction with great emotion and lots of tears and disorientation. Time check: 12:10

I think, "Yes! We're done! I'm so well rounded, that was crazy, but I'm glad I saw it. It must be time to leave." No. He walks back to the front and starts talking about speaking in tounges and then he says that he can't leave because the whole time he was in front of the church he could see God around these girls in the back. He then calls these two, unsuspecting girls up to the front who look very confused as to what is going on, and he continues talking about how he could see God with them and he just wanted to let them know that God was there for them. He followed this by laying his hands on them. Same routine as before. This time, the second girl collapsed when he pushed her back and she was hysterical. The men caught her and the women quickly came and threw the blankets on her body which was now laying on the floor. Time check: 12:30

I was sure this was it. No. Then he said that God was not going to let him be done until he had blessed every girl in the church, but he only called the ones that were 16-25. The girls Shirnelle and I were with, went up to the front, but we stayed in our seats. I thought that maybe he would just say a quick prayer with all of them up there, but no. He wanted hands to be laid on each of them. And then all of a sudden all these random people had magic hands and there was a lot of wailing and falling and it looked as if there was a huge girl fight. Girls was screaming and laying all over the floor and they'd stand up disoriented, frazzled and messed up hair from rolling around on the floor. I'm pretty sure my eyes have never been so wide. A woman came up to us and very enthused asked me how old I was. As much as I wanted to lie and say 15 or 26, I said 20 and she told me to get on up there. I said I couldn't because I wasn't even entirely sure what was going on and she said "oh honey, he's just prayin' for ya" and I said, "oh, no thank you."

The band played and the choir sang the entire time. There were always people shouting Amen and Hallelujiah. The enthusiasm level stayed the same for everyone in there, besides Shirnelle and me, all 3 hours that was spent in that church. Yes, 3 hours.

Interjection- I'm so sorry for all the times my blogs have been entirely too long and when you've walked away thinking, "wow, did I really just spend 15 minutes reading that?" This blog in particular is starting to get very lengthy, so I'm sorry for this too.

A lot of things are just kinda thrown together here and the word they use for it is "gumbo." I doubt the church I visited itself would consider themselves gumbo, but that's exactly what it was for me.

I'm not saying that anything they did was wrong, but remember when I brought up the "Do it yourself" method to chuch? Well that's exactly what this was. They didn't believe in just one thing, they believe in the whole shebang! And again, I'm not saying it's wrong and I don't want to offend you but here's what I think about the whole thing:

Yes, we all should in fact be very much on fire for God. He is magnificent and fantastic and awesome. Personally, I believe there are different ways of showing off this fire. Like starting a blog. Like starting devotionals for you and your friends. Like sharing God with someone. I don't think that being on fire means you litereally need to act like you're on fire all the time. Yeah, all those people were very enthusiastic about God Sunday morning with the band blaring and the choir singing, but who are they outside of church? I think that's what matters. Not showing other church people you love God, but showing the lost that you love God.

I'm sorry if I've offended that pastor, but I'm not used to going to a church where there's a band, choir, and praise that's so active. I stood and clapped my hands and participated to the best of my ability (which yes, I'm sure looked very ridiculous). I don't think that God cares that I wasn't jumping or shouting like everyone else. I listened to the words and absorbed them in my thoughts (because I didn't know any songs) and I appreciated the heart felt choir and members that I could see. It was inspiring, but it wasn't for me. I think that church should be a place where I feel safe to go and not be judged, even when it's obvious that I don't exactly belong. They didn't make me feel welcome, they made me feel like I was doing something wrong and deserved to be punished, when that's really not the case. Or so I think.

As far as the whole spending 3 hours at church thing goes, fine. It would be different if I felt like I was actually getting something out of it. But I wasn't. On top of that, I started getting hungry and my attention span went from short to practically non-existent. There are times, especially at Green Valley, when people get caught up talking about God or someone gets caught up preaching, and in those instances I've noticed that time will fly without my even realizing it. I hope that this is the category that most of my posts will fit into. They may be long, but they're relavant. I know that sometimes I ramble, but I try and get to a point and end it.

And finally, laying his hands on people. I'm sorry if I offended that woman by declining a prayer, but I hope you see why. I'm not saying that the pastor doesn't have healing hands. I'm not saying that he isn't ordained by God himself. And I'm definitely not saying that no one has that power. What I had a problem with was the way he went about it. Not one time did he give credit to God for what he was doing. It was all him walking around laying his hands on people making people cry. It was as if he thought he was God.

There was a lot about this experience that was very...eye-opening. Enriching even. Unfortunately, that's all I have to say about it. It was an experience, an adventure. It wasn't good and it wasn't bad. It just was. My point? Well after I made this whole thing about having a point I'm not sure if I even have one. I do know what I believe in and what I don't believe in a little bit better now. Not only that, but I also know what to expect next time. As in next Sunday when I visit another church. I won't be caught off guard and maybe next time, my heart won't be so angry when I leave.

Defiently, I wanted to visit IFA again. Just to prove to him that I know exactly what I'm doing, but there's no point in going to a church for all the wrong reasons. At this point, I'd rather start over, giving a clean slate to the next church I visit.

Thanks for making it this line :)) As always, I love you! Je t'aime. And so does God. Have a beautiful week!

DRO as in...didn't read over. I win! Or I guess God does again...

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